Who is the most important person in your life? It is a simple straightforward question. When I ask this question to some of my
clients, they answer, my wife, husband, mum, dad, boyfriend, girlfriend, sister,
brother, aunt or uncle and others besides. Often, far to often there is an
omission from the list of important people, and that is usually ourselves!
The most important person in your life is and should be you!
Only by being fair to yourself and loving yourself, and nurturing yourself, can
you make the very most out of loving relationships with those people who are
important to you.This requirement for self-love is not arrogance, or selfish, it is more like self-preservation. Self-love is about caring for yourself as well as those around you. It is about knowing yourself, it is about taking responsibility for you, responsibility for the things you chose to do or chose not to do.
Psychologist and social philosopher Eric Fromm wrote in 1956
that to truly love someone else, you have to love yourself first. Of course
this may sound flowery and 60’s type drivel to some readers, but is it?
Are you in a loving and happy relationship at this moment or
are you going through the motions, are you realistic about your own strengths
and weaknesses, or do you turn a blind eye to them. Are you stuck in old
patterns of behaviour, beliefs and thought which could sabotage what could be a
wonderful relationship, or at worst even destroy it.
Many people believe it’s easier to just put up with a
situation, and keep quiet, rather than deal with their own issues. Many people
would rather face a raging bull than admit they have issues to deal with! Old
patterns can help us to avoid what needs to be addressed, it’s easier to shout
and walk away, rather than listen and simply consider new options of choice and
considerations.
We are the sum of our knowledge, life-skills, experiences
and relationships. If we want to move on, if we want to break out of past
behaviours and routines, we have to be brave enough to look inside ourselves
and ask, if we do love ourselves and that means respecting ourselves and our
skills and life history.
If we allow ourselves to remain in destructive thought
patterns and behaviours, then those things in the past are still influencing
us, still winning the internal battle.
But we owe it to ourselves, and those we love, to break out of that
self-maintained prison and to begin to see the real opportunities which lay
ahead of us.
And of course it’s okay to be unsure, scared, and vulnerable
and all the other things we shy away from so readily when we know change is
needed. So if you haven’t made a New Year’s resolution yet, consider making one
that you will start to love yourself. And when you learn how to do that, you
can really open up and enjoy the other important relationships in your life,
enjoying the support, and love and caring which is given to you by the special
people in your life, and learn how to return it too. If you don’t know how, contact me, if you are
unsure, contact me, and let me help you find the way.Practice website: www.michaelmahoneyhypnotherapist.com
Audio Recordings: www.healthyaudio.com
